Did you hear the one about the woman who hit her husband on the head with a rolling pin?
Suffering from a sudden headache, her husband asked her, ‘What was that all about?’
‘I found a piece of paper in your jacket pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it.’ She replied
‘That’s the name of a horse I got a hot tip on.’ He replied
Accepting his explanation she apologizes for whacking him.
A few days later, she nails him on the head again, even harder.
When he regains consciousness, he asks ‘Why on earth did you do that?’
‘Your horse phoned.’
Casino Extra Cheap in Vegas
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. ‘Where are you going?’ demands the surprised husband. ‘To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!’ The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. ‘What do you think you are doing?’ she screamed. ‘I’m going to Las Vegas with you… I want to see how you’re going to live on $1000 a year!’
Addicted to gambling
Buckshot was a compulsive gambler, and would bet on anything and everything; horses, dogs, football, baseball, basketball, snooker and even soccer games. When Buckshot was down to his last dollar, he went to his best friend and said ‘Roy, I need $1000, we have no food, I owe rent, the kids need jeans for school, and the wife won’t leave the house because we have bad checks at all the stores. Can you help me out?’ So his best buddy gave him $2000 to get him ahead, but on one condition, that he does not use the money for gambling. Buckshot’s reply was ‘Oh, I have money put away for that.’
High stakes Casino Extra
A man walks into a butcher’s shop and inquires of the butcher: ‘Are you a gambling man?’ The butcher says ‘Yes’, so the man said: ‘I bet you L50 that you can’t reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there.’ The butcher says ‘I’m not betting on that.’ ‘But I thought you were a gambling man’ the man retorts. ‘Yes I am’ says the butcher ‘but the steaks are too high.